Microfiction Monday #2: Objects In The Mirror.

…wherein Kagame gets a new side mirror…

Kagame had a rocky week and he complained as much to his confidant Rambo.

“It all started when I damaged my car’s side mirror and replaced it.” He nudged his head towards the new mirror. “First day I used it, I saw a monster rushing towards me, a terrifying monster, with fire blazing through its eyes and smoke billowing from its ears and nostrils. I panicked so much I pulled the car into reverse and rammed the accelerator to the floor without stopping to think it through.”

“And you hit the monster?” Rambo asked with bated breath.

“Thank heavens I didn’t because it turns out there wasn’t any monster in the first place. It was…my wife.”

“Ooh…how’d she react to that?”

“Have I shown you my new scars?” Kagame tenderly lifted his shirt to display the altered geography of his chest and back. Rambo winced.

“Two days later, I swear to God, I saw a leopard charging towards the car while I was heading back home from work. Then…” Kagame smiled unamusedly, “Then it turned out the leopard was nothing more than a stray cat.”

“Well this explains it.” Rambo said standing over the side mirror, “This text right here, it says ‘Objects in the mirror appear more bad-a** than they really are.’”

“I don’t see anything.” Said a squinting Kagame.

“Really, it’s right there…oh now it’s changed, now it says, ‘Mind your own business, you joint-smoking troll’. Who did you buy this thing from?”

“Well that’s the thing, the man who sold it to me was an unassumingly respectable fella. He had nothing on but a straw hat and faded jeans shorts, and an impressive array of bead ornaments around his neck and arms. Oh and he called himself Salim Makame, Simba wa Pwani (Lion of the Coast)…what?”

Rambo was shaking his head. “Nothing, except sometimes I forget you are the CEO of a multibillion company how gullible you can get.”

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Micro-Fiction Monday #1

I’ve had a really kick-butt semester so far, and it promises to get meaner. Considering I’ll be having less and less time to indulge my need to write, I think micro-fiction is a proper compromise, and so I dedicate my mondays to carrying out this excercise.

Now I finally have a reason to look forward to Mondays!

Wrong Delivery (…wherein Shirim has a nightmare…)

“I had the most awful of nightmares last night.” Complained Shirim, rubbing her neck.

“Why, what happened?” A concerned Rahma asked.

“It’s hard to explain,” Shirim responded, as she gazed off into the distance, trying to recall the dream, “First, the North Pole went South, metaphorically and literally. The poles just swapped. The Eskimo community of the North were incensed. Having waited twenty three months to see the sun, only to have to wait another twenty three months all over again! They felt cheated. They marched in the streets, vowing to bring eternal winter to the rest of the world.”

“Oh, that’s awful.”

“But there’s more…”

“There’s more?” Rahma asked.

“Yes.” Shirim gulped, “When the chaos peaked, in stepped…Donald Trump.”

“Oh no!” Rahma slammed her palm onto her mouth.

“Yes, he stepped in and…he…actually managed to unite all the people of the world, regardless of the colour of their skin or religious affiliations, and he turned the crisis on its head and brought peace all over the world. And he did it all without firing a single nuclear weapon, without issuing threats. He did it all with a gentlemanly charm that doesn’t really fit the real him right now. Come to think of it…”

“That’s actually a good dream.” Remarked Rahma.

“Yeah. But for some reason it felt awful, even though it was good dream.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Shirim said, biting her nails in contemplation, “If there is such a thing as a delivery system for dreams then I guess last night’s dream was delivered to the wrong address? Maybe the dream was meant for a KKK heretic or ISIS fanatic?”

Rahma laughed, “Seems the most valid explanation here.”

“But can you imagine…?”

“Honey, I’d question reality too if it happened, but it would be nice for a change!”