…wherein Kagame gets a new side mirror…
Kagame had a rocky week and he complained as much to his confidant Rambo.
“It all started when I damaged my car’s side mirror and replaced it.” He nudged his head towards the new mirror. “First day I used it, I saw a monster rushing towards me, a terrifying monster, with fire blazing through its eyes and smoke billowing from its ears and nostrils. I panicked so much I pulled the car into reverse and rammed the accelerator to the floor without stopping to think it through.”
“And you hit the monster?” Rambo asked with bated breath.
“Thank heavens I didn’t because it turns out there wasn’t any monster in the first place. It was…my wife.”
“Ooh…how’d she react to that?”
“Have I shown you my new scars?” Kagame tenderly lifted his shirt to display the altered geography of his chest and back. Rambo winced.
“Two days later, I swear to God, I saw a leopard charging towards the car while I was heading back home from work. Then…” Kagame smiled unamusedly, “Then it turned out the leopard was nothing more than a stray cat.”
“Well this explains it.” Rambo said standing over the side mirror, “This text right here, it says ‘Objects in the mirror appear more bad-a** than they really are.’”
“I don’t see anything.” Said a squinting Kagame.
“Really, it’s right there…oh now it’s changed, now it says, ‘Mind your own business, you joint-smoking troll’. Who did you buy this thing from?”
“Well that’s the thing, the man who sold it to me was an unassumingly respectable fella. He had nothing on but a straw hat and faded jeans shorts, and an impressive array of bead ornaments around his neck and arms. Oh and he called himself Salim Makame, Simba wa Pwani (Lion of the Coast)…what?”
Rambo was shaking his head. “Nothing, except sometimes I forget you are the CEO of a multibillion company how gullible you can get.”